I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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