They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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