just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
