Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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