He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
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Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
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YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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