Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
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I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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