Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
