so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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