Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
