You can't special order awesome
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
