Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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