No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
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On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
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The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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