Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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