paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
