So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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