I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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