Kiss
Puke
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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