"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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