the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
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if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
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Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
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