My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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