I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
