So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
