so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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