I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Watching her eat just hurts me
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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