why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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