i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
