I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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