I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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