know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
