If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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