Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
