He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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