I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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