I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
