saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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