Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
