This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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