Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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