SEEEEXXX PLEASE
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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