my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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