her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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