Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
