whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
