plz talk dirty to me
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
