"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
