my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
