I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
