I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
