dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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