the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Randomize
