It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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