She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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