what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Let's get the cat blown out
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
