so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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