Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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