Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
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She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
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There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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