I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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