The maid of honor just puked.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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