How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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