Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
