Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
