this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
